#100 fucking followers lets goooo

[teaforqne]

What the hell I just realized I hit 100 followers!!!????!! Thank you all, I love you all, kisses to you all.

have jimmeh smiling like :]

[landograndprix]

everybody talks ✾ m.v

summary – in which max's teammate & girlfriend isn't as loved as she should be.

a/n – requests are open, also don't know what this is but felt max was the perfect guy for this 😭 had to channel my fuck red bull & fuck max persona for this, warning a lot of sour men in here 😂

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y/nusername

Barcelona, Spain

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 218,761 others

y/nusername barcelona'23 ☀

tagged: maxverstappen1

view all 376 comments

victoriaverstappen have fun you two ❤️

y/nusername ❤️❤️

y/nnmax99 my favorite couple 🥰

jamesxvier I was today years old when I found out these two are dating

charloss1655 have been dating for a while now actually Don't blame you though, they don't post a lot about it.

verstappenmaxie ...because of the shit they both get for it, I would keep my relationship private too

mercgirl how much does red bull pay you to be his girlfriend? 🤡

y/nusername a wdc, don't tell him though.

landonorris can i get the same when I go out with Max?

y/nusername I'll ask..hang on

hannahhh having my fingers crossed for a good weekend for both of you!

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redbullracing

Circuit de Barcelona-Catalunya

liked by yourbestfrienduser, victoriaverstappen and 115,762 others

redbullracing another phenomenal race for our favorite paddock princess, p1! 🏆

#F1 #RedBullRacing #BarcelonaGP

view all 426 comments

zhoueey let's goooo women for the win 🏆🏆🏆

maxverstappen1 the best there is!

redbullracing she sure is 👏

cal092 🤮 🤮

sarahh1 @/cal092 you're a grown man, are you not embarrassed.. 🤮

timothytim sad we didn't get a 1-2 for redbull but we'll keep fighting!

teamy/n that's our girl 🥰

y/nusername just me and my lil' illegal car 🥰

maxmaxverstap in your little illegal rocketship 😭

chilisainz not a red bull fan but would die for this woman :')

frank1971 disgusting, women don't belong in f1.

y/nusername sorry you feel this way frank, however your opinion doesn't make me want to switch carreers. Hope you sleep well tonight, i certainly will. 😊

landoscar 💀 💀

bott-ass lmao that's some queen shit

tifosi200 I hate redbull. 🤮

yourbestfrienduser you're aware you're on the redbull page? You follow them, you stalking them despite it all?

1990m your ferrari ain't doing so good stfu

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y/nusername posted on their story

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y/nusername

Zandvoort, The Netherlands

liked by maxverstappen1, yourbestfrienduser and 198,002 others

y/nusername zandvoort'23 🇳🇱

tagged: maxverstappen1

view all 291 comments

yourbestfrienduser okay..where was my invite?

supermax33 hoping for a great weekend for both of you!

norrlan loving all this max content you've been putting out, love you two together 🥰

zaza29 heard you were sick, please tell me you're well enough to be on the grid this weekend 🥺

char_lec let's hope not lol let others have a chance..hope she'll be sick for a couple of weeks

zaza29 wtf? hoping people stay sick? 🥴

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y/nusername

CM.com Circuit Zandvoort

liked by redbullracing, yourbestfrienduser and 236,542 others

y/nusername p2 this weekend wasn't something I was expecting this weekend since I wasn't feeling 100%. A big shout out to my doctor for fixing me up the best he could and a big shout out to the team for guiding me through the struggles that I experienced today!

tagged: redbullracing, maxverstappen1

view all 361 comments

maddieb sis struggled to breathe over the radio, looked like a hot mess when she got out of that car, looked like she was about to empty her stomach and was visible shaking and still managed to get p2..and y'all still want to tell me she ain't got no skill 💀

maxverstappen1 proud of you ❤️

y/nusername ❤️❤️

carlitosainz stop making me like you dude omg 😭

redbullracing beast mode was on! 👏

lucie2000 I'm not a fan of max but the way he waited for y/n to drive into the pits with a big fat smile on his face was adorable

norrisoscar enemies to lovers always hit different 😂

lucie2000 true true 😂

danielricciardo you might be good at this.

y/nusername yeah, you think I can make a carreer out of this?

danielricciardo with a bit of training? Absolutely.

Tiffie2 pregnant maybe, does look like you gained some weight?

charlus16 wtf is this question, what's wrong with people?

y/nusername it's called bloating tiff, something that happens to a female body when they're ovulating. I thought a woman your age would've known this by now.

bott-ass and I oooop– 💀

supermaxmax @/maxverstappen1 if you don't marry her, I will 😭

yourbestfrienduser another 1-2 with your man 🥰

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y/nusername posted on their story

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y/nusername

liked by danielricciardo, maxverstappen1 and 278,761 others

y/nusername december'19 – december'23, four years of us. Hoping I can be your pain in the ass for for many more years and may I be able to stop myself from driving you off the track when you once again 'forget' to do the dishes. love you lot, hou van jou ♥︎

tagged: maxverstappen1

view all 401 comments

maxverstappen1 love you lots and hou van jou ❤️

maxiel333 congrats you guys 🥰

dannyricric the cutest couple for sure

danielricciardo ❤️

lunaferrari 4 years already?! 🤯 happy 4 years!

norrizz4 happy 4 years you guys 💞💞

posiexo power couple for real

bennyd14 man bagged his 3rd wdc, drives for the best team AND bagged the prettiest woman of them all. He won for life.

yourbestfrienduser and now get married..

charlie16cl honestly, what's this man waiting for? 😂

bott-ass @/maxverstappen1 you better before I do

[sweetbunpura]

Sanctuary heehee

Let's goooo!

Ask meme.

who’s the cuddler:  Rollo, 100%.

He unlocked the option to cuddle in the relationship and now anytime he's with Yuu in private, he's cuddles her. In bed? cuddling. Asleep? cuddling, he likes being the big spoon. Leaving the dorm for classes? You best believe he's cuddling her before they go.

This man is very touched starved.

who makes the bed: Rollo.

He can't stand that Yuu leaves the bed a mess when she leaves and will hurry to make it before leaving to follow her. Now, Yuu tries to make the bed, but it's not to Rollo's perfection, but he appreciates it.

who wakes up first: Yuu.

She keeps to her work out routine even when she's dating Rollo. She tries to slip out without waking Rollo and begins her day with her stretches, eating a light breakfast and making her post workout smoothie, and heads to the school's gym.

who has the weird taste in music: Neither.

Rollo paints me as someone who really likes classical music, piano mostly. Yuu loves a lotta genres, but she favors Jazz and high energy music.

who is more protective: Rollo.

Being in a relationship has awoken this in him. He wants to protect her from both magic and just the NRC boys. Anytime she gets injured from the shenanigans, he gets very worried and demands that the boys do something to fix whatever happened while he lingers near Yuu like a guard dog.

who sings in the shower: Both.

Rollo sings soft French songs that are barely heard over the sound of the water until he turns it off, while Yuu sings a lotta upbeat Japanese or English songs.

who cries during movies: Neither.

In order to get them to cry, it has to be a super touching story or it's a movie where the dog dies. That is the only way.

who spends the most while out shopping: Yuu.

But can you blame her? She literally has to feed Grim and buy clothes anytime hers get ruined. Rollo doesn't spend that much.... unless it's something he really wants, or he's spoiling Yuu for their anniversary or valentine's day.

who kisses more roughly: Rollo.

Oh my lord, what a relationship does to someone so emotionally constipated. Yuu kisses him once and it unlocked every desire inside him. Of course, it's only every in the privacy of Ramshackle, but he kisses Yuu like a man dying of thirst. He moves on from her lips to her neck and tries to get a sound out of her to let him know he's doing good.

who is more dominate: Yuu.

Rollo tries, he tries so hard, but Yuu just pins him down and goes to town on him. She knows how to push his buttons too much and Rollo, flustered as he gets, still rolls with it cause he loves it so much.

my rating of the ship from 1-10:  10/10

I fucking love them both for their dynamic alone.

[botanikos]

SHIPPING INFO. answer the following for your muse(s) so people know how shipping works on your blog.

what’s your OTP for your muse(s)?

Stolitz, obviously. Though I am also biased by saying I will also always readily pursue what I have with Horus & Stolas [ @sxlinvictus is stuck with me forever ].

what are you willing to RP when it comes to shipping?

As far as tropes go, I am open to most things. I am a slut [ affectionate ] for fluff and domesticity, but angst is also my game! I love friends to lovers, enemies to lovers, forced proximity, fake dating, etc. The options are endless!

are you selective when shipping?

I can be. If I can't personally see our muses becoming romantically [ or even just sexually ] inclined, I'll be hesitant and/or let you know it's not going to work out or that I'm not interested. It's nothing personal! I just go based on how my Stolas feels or would approach the matter. On most occasions, I am heavily chemistry based. However, there are some instances where I'd be willing to just jump right into things! Especially if I've had enough interactions with my partners both or either ic or ooc!

Also worth noting — my portrayal will not show interest in women. Sorry, ladies. He will appreciate and compliment them, but there will be zero attraction.

Who are other muses you ship your muse with?

This is a very good question! I will be honest, I never considered anything outside of Stolitz originally, excluding possibilities with Dae's muses as we discuss them. Mostly because I just wasn't sure where I stood on the matter or how Stolas would respond! But some interactions with others have me thinking. . . Broadening my horizons. . .

I would be open to exploring things with: Better Than Blitzo Guy [ why doesn't he have a fucking name?? ], Lucifer, Angel Dust, Andrealphus, Lucifer [ Netflix and probably to be an Exclusive ], Alucard/Adrian from Castlevania, and others idk I just can't think of it without like, prompting or scenarios. . .

I actively/passively ship my Stolas with Blitzo, Lestat [ @this-savage-garden ] and Walter [ @lapetitemxrt ], and Roy [ @flamesignite ]. But these are exclusive ships! I will not pair him with any other portrayal of these characters.

how often do you like to ship?

I love shipping! If it's not already obvious, I'm telling you right now!!! Good soup!

are you multiship?

100%, absolutely! Every ship is verse separate and occurring outside of others unless specified or agreed upon by any/all involved!

what is your favorite ship in your current fandom?

I love Moxxie & Millie so damn much — but if the question is muse specific, then Stolitz, of course.

finally, how does one ship with you?

Tell me! Tell me you're interested and if you have any ideas/desired interactions to get things going! 9/10 times I am willing and absolutely delighted to do so! Also, memes are a great jump into any dynamic! I will say, however, it helps to have interactions prior and/or chatting ooc! If you don't tell me or tag me in a post about wanting it — I won't approach you about it! Even if it's a ship I am interested in. Just slam that shit in my face! Let's goooo!

Additional notes:

Just because I have an interest in shipping with a character does not mean I will seek it out or expect it with you and your muse! Also, I am 100% down for unrequited feelings.

[capcavan]

I actually want to congratulate you on your work because what I don't think a lot of people in this fandom understand is that Riko is a character that is FUCKING HARD to get right. Not just to understand, but to WRITE. You can't make him too unhinged or he's just a cartoon villain and you can't make his actions too light (If you're writing within canon) or he looks like a pathetic clown instead of the actual threat he is on canon and if you aim for the middle he can end up just bland (AND I WILL SAY the greatest offenders in this are Riko haters and not his stans). And even in your most redemptionest AUs you manage to write him in a way that is consistent with the existing characterisation. I have yet to come across from a post by you that didn't make me think "yeah, if things went different, he could have turned out like this"

I feel pretty honoured I feel like I just won fandom and riko is shipped to me in the post . I would like to thank my parents for making me fucked up enough to get him.

There is few things that contribute to it all pretty much. And I will use this as excuse to talk about them all its 7 am and I slept 4 hours let's goooo

I actually see riko as very pathetic and non threat myself and I'm pretty sure Neil and most foxes do as well because even on my first reading of the books something stuck out to me pręty severly

Characters who actually killed people in those books

Andrew Aaron Renee Neil ? The foxes are pretty hands on with murder

Riko? Riki never actually got his hands dirty it does separate him already in cannon as all bark no bite whose only way to be intimidating is to use family name and people who follow him menawhile Riko himself is scary only to Kevin.

Riko's buildup in narrative as threat is very good but I really wouldn't confuse it as fear of him himself.

Riko's roast perfectly sums it up

Riko is pathetic used and delusional

I'm sorry if this is spitting onto what you said I am happy you like my things but I truly believe that riko is pathetic and I say this fully loving his character and issues his character puts light on.

He is scary only if you give him power as abuser (wchih is what this fandom does a lot in their need to have black and white villian ) but as a person he is pathetic.

But seeing riko as pathetic is seen by people as " he is poor and sad and I don't want to feel this way about him BC he is bad person "

He is not pathetic little kitty

He is pathetic eaten by anger and frustrations and unable to cry from all the pain he is in I can see how killing him could be seen as mercy actually.

Another thing I think people don't get right

Is that riko is not 100% delusional about his value

He has skills and he knows he is worth something he is fighting to have his father acknowledge it not because he does not feel worthy but because he knows he has a lot to offer and wants a chance to show it

He does not feel worthles he is just frustrated that others see him as such

Also growing pains are important thing to show

I think saddest and my favourite thing about riko is that the better person you let him be the more unhappy he will be.being good person won't erase things he did in the past and hurt he caused and the further you go the heavier it will be on his conscience and this is balance in act and I have way too many versions of the story where I let him snap

So yeah riko is pathetic clown and he is scary only when you don't understand this I'm sorry to blow his cover like that !

Maybe my reading of character is different in the end we all base things we create on things we know and while I never did such horrible things I know how it feels to grow into being a better person than I used to be and I know how it feels to still not believe you did got better even when I have friends to prove. There is a lot of comfort in seeing someone so horrible get nice things not because I did those horrible things but because I know how it feels to not deserve anything nice and hate myself enough to self sabotage.

I could go on also to talk about difference between gloryfying physical abuse in fandom and ignoring psychological abuse but maybe that's a talk for another time.

[peachymilkandcream]

Break Me Slowly|Part 18|Yandere Levi x Evelyn

(A/N: Part 18 let's goooo! I don't know if I mentioned before but figuring out the pacing on this has been roughhhhh, I haven't seen the finale yet because I want to hear Levi's voice only in dub, so I'm debating just watching it in sub for the sake of the story or to wait until dub and get the best experience with the end of the show. Once we get closer to the end of where the show leaves off I'll decide but just so everyone knows this won't end where the show does but a bit after :3 BTW, if anyone wants to be on the taglist for this reply to this post and I'll add you! And don't forget to put your suggestions for hitting 100 followers either in my inbox or in the replies of the 100 followers post!)

WARNINGS: noncon, dubcon, manipulation, domestic abuse, yandere themes, forced marriage, forced pregnancy, stockholm syndrome, violence, mind breaking, misogyny, vaguely implied suicide, etc.

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Erwin and Hange stare at Evelyn. a mixture of shock and disgust coming over their features.

"Hange, Erwin." She says flatly in greeting.

"How could you Evelyn- You're with them?" Hange grits her teeth but clearly is on the edge of tears.

She stays silent, in truth, she had nothing to say. A small part of her felt bad for helping cause all of this, but she justified it since they turned their backs on her first.

"Well? Aren't you going to give some pathetic excuse to defend yourself of all these disgusting actions?" Erwin was no where near as moved as Hange was, he was clearly upset he had been caught and the person he fucked over was roaming free.

"I could say the same for you Commander. What's the matter? Upset your sins have caught up to you? Does it not haunt you at night that you left a unsuspecting woman to the cruelty of a monster? You knew what Levi was like, you fucking knew it and then you covered up for him. Do you feel no remorse for that?"

Erwin stares her down coldly, he and Levi were a lot alike, they both despised having their faults be pointed out by anyone. They both believed that they were perfection incarnate and everyone else was lesser than to be stepped on as needed.

Hange speaks instead. "Evelyn please, I know you went through some shit so your brain isn't all there, but that isn't excuse for all of this. You've deluded yourself so far thinking that Levi is this evil monster in your head but he's not, remember how he was?"

"Oh please Hange, don't be so naive to believe whatever Levi shovels into your mouth. He's always been this way, you've just bought into it like I did. He's a monster. The scum of the earth, just like Commander Erwin here. Isn't that right?"

Erwin's jaw is clenched in anger. "All you'll ever be is scum from the Underground who thought she was somebody because Levi had a crush."

She reaches out and slaps him hard across the face, pent up anger at him, at Levi, at this whole system where reputation and money was what bought you belief, all of it coming out at once. She hadn't had a place for all of this built up rage, and it felt good to get it out. Maybe she even understood where Levi was coming from a bit.

"Feel better now?" He continued. "The only reason you got to where you are is because Levi wanted to sleep with you. He saved you from certain death many times, sure you have some skill, but without him on your back you would have been just another "fallen hero" everyone would forget about. The amount of men that have died because he chose to save you over them is what made me turn a blind eye to this make believe victimhood you've placed yourself in."

"You're saying I'm just playing the victim? For what? What could I possibly hope to gain?" Tears threatened to spill over onto her cheeks.

"Who knows? And excuse for divorce so you can take half of what he has? Maybe you thought you wanted something but the pressures of marriage are too much for you so you're running away. All you do is run away."

Indignation flared inside her, she could tell by his expression he was just putting on a speech and show so that Hange and those around would buy into the lie Levi sold that she had just made herself an imaginary victim. He knew the truth, Levi knew the truth, they both just had a name to throw behind a claim that everyone believed.

"I hate you." She spits out, the tears spilling over.

"Please don't cry, I hate to see women cry."

She wanted to see him dead, she wished that the previous king, no matter how fake, had hung this son of a bitch from the highest point so that everyone could see his rotting body. But that would come, eventually, she had promised Eren she'd be patient and follow his lead when it came to vengeance. He would take care of it for her, she just had to follow along where needed, then everything would be okay.

"Get these two out of here, make sure they're ready to leave."

"Leave? Where are we going?" Hange tried to keep the small twinge of fear out of her voice.

Evelyn took a deep breath and composed herself, subtly wiping away those aggravating tears. "If everything went well, Levi should be nothing more than a rotting corpse by now."

Both of their eyes went wide, slightly stunned.

"That's right. Eren, Zeke, they set a trap for him. Now we're going to make sure he's dead, I would have stayed with him but I wanted to make sure we all got to see the carnage together. You don't mind coming do you?"

They say nothing, following as they're dragged along.

===========================================

The search for the remains of Levi was extensive and long, each moment increasing Evelyn's anxiety. What if Zeke's plan didn't work? What if Levi was waiting for her, ready to pounce the moment she showed her face? There was no possible way that he could have survived all of that, but this was Levi, he was a demon, no matter what was thrown his way he always survived.

This would be different. He was dead, she was safe, her fear would dissipate when she saw his body for herself. She would truly be free once she knew, gone from his oppression and free to do everything she wanted.

Their group returned to the forest, why Evelyn had left in the first place was to distance herself from the carnage. Guilt still ate at her, she had needed to put some kind of barrier between them so she felt better. Confirmation of his death would make the guilt leave completely, she was sure.

==============================================

A trail of wreckage dragged through the entire forest, slaughtered Titans were nothing but bones now, vaporizing with a cloud of steam.

No trace of Levi could be found, the stirring fears making her palms sweaty and her heart beat out of her chest. Even though Hange and Erwin seemed just as worried as she, Evelyn could bet that they were worried for a much different reason.

"Over there!" Someone shouted.

The group followed the direction the soldier was pointing, finding the charred boards that looked like it belonged to a small cart.

Zeke was no where to be found, Levi was no where to be found, it was empty.

"Where could he have gone?" Floch asked, slightly annoyed because he was still in the rain.

"The riverbank, look-!"

Evelyn was first, pushing past everyone else. She had to know what had become of her husband.

Erwin and Hange were close behind, hoping beyond hope that their friend was still alive.

His body was burned, shards of blade sticking out from his body and face. His fingers were gone, he was utterly still.

The other two were just as frozen as she, unable to believe what they were seeing. To them, their beloved comrade was gone.

To Evelyn, she was free.

[ubercharge-the-sniper]

NEW PINNED POST LET’S FUCKING GOOOO

Hello!! Welcome to my TF2 sideblog!! My name is Ludwig, you can call me Wynn if you want tho, I like both. My pronouns are strictly he/him and I am 22 years of old

NO FUCKING TERFS/HOMOPHOBES/RACISTS/ZIONISTS/ETC ON ANY OF MY BLOGS I WILL HUNT YOU FOR SPORT

This blog is not explicitly 18+, but please keep in mind I will occasionally reblog/post suggestive stuff with a #suggestive tag. Minors are welcome to engage with my SFW posts BUT PLEASE DO NOT ENGAGE WITH ANY SUGGESTIVE MATERIAL I HAVE POSTED

I’m neither proship nor antiship. I generally don’t care about what anyone ships WITHIN REASON- I will not tolerate any pedophilic/incestuous/etc ships. Disgusting

I may not ship a lot of things in TF2 (I’ll reblog things I think are cute), but I do ship SniperSpy. I understand that’s a discomfort for some people, so please keep that in mind if you want to follow me

I’m 100% ok if anyone wants to use my SFM posters as profile pictures!! All I ask is for credit somewhere, thank you!!

I draw!! I tag my art with #wynn art

My main blog is @straywyvern if you wanna see unrelated art and disorganized bullshit

Might edit this later might not lol bye

[theharrowing]

Revisit Thoughts:

oh boy oh boyyyyyy!!! chapter 6, let's goooo!!!!!

i think i found a loose end hehehe how exciting. ✍ jotting that down for later hehe.

it's so funny to see Jimin being a bit of a brat. i wasn't 100% set on his involvement with the bees at this point, which makes this interaction seem a lot more insensitive, in hindsight, but i am sure i could brush it off as him testing mc's personality or whateverwhatever. (if you're a first time reader, this comment will make more sense in chapter 11.)

(content warning for this paragraph: mention is sexual assault.) something that was a little tricky about this chapter, that i have never addressed before, is how everything feels so amazing with Yoongi, as if mc is experiencing things for the first time, despite her past of being trafficked. i work really hard to avoid mentioning her having unpleasant sex, or sex against her will, unless it is necessary for dialogue or the scene, for the sake of any reader who may find that difficult to stomach. luckily, nobody has ever asked...but in the event that anyone has ever wondered, that is why. with the exception of one event, that is discussed in chapters 10 and 11 and in passing in later chapters, (and hinted at back in 5) i really have no intention of going into any more details about that aspect of her backstory at all.

wheeeee hahaha okay anyway....................no notes during the bulk of the smut, which is mostly what this chapter was. got sucked in and spit back out.

i was actually going to hold off on making them fuck for a little longer, but a few readers were threating to ring my neck, and as much as i enjoy being a tyrant, i am also a bit of a people pleaser. it was fun to write, but i think it quickly caused me to make Yoongi a lot softer...i could be wrong, though; i haven't read the following handful of chapters in quite some time.

ugh making the mood board for this chapter took me so long. like, at least a week. i really adamantly try not to show women on my mood boards to signify the reader because i don't want to paint any kind of picture of what the reader looks like (aside from being "curvy" and at least slightly shorter than Yoongi and having hair long enough to pin back.) i like to keep things vague and inclusive, and i really struggled with a motif for this one, having to rely a lot on metaphor. once i got the idea for it to be black and gold like Yoongi's bedding, it came together so fast, i was even more annoyed lmao. like i couldn't believe how easy it was after having struggled for so long.

while reading this one, i made a handful of edits just to make some sentences less choppy, and added SOS by Balming Tiger as the chapter's song! how excitingggg.

Collateral 🗡️ 6: Beg for me

Your ex-boyfriend gets in over his head working for the local mafia, and Boss Min has come to collect his payment: You.

But was it simply a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time? Or has he always had his sights on you?

PREVIOUS | INDEX | NEXT

🗡️ Yoongi x Female Reader

🗡️ word count: 9.3k

🗡️ mafia au, strangers to lovers, graphic violence, major character injury, poly, smut, angst, fluff, nsfw, explicit 21+ 

🗡️ warnings: past trauma mentioned, drug use, masturbation, blow job, oral sex, fingering, multiple orgasms, begging/teasing, degrading language (slut), rough sex, fluffy feelings 

🗡️ beta read by @neoneunnajimin​ 

🗡️ posted june 2022 | read on ao3

You return to the mansion with a heavy heart. The sun rises over the horizon, painting everything in a soft golden glow, and Yoongi convenes in the main hall with his family men, dropping himself onto his blue velvet chair with a loud exhale. You lean against the wall in the entrance and pull the straps of your shoes over your heels, not bothering to take the time to unclasp them; you are eager to get out of your dress and climb into bed. 

But as you begin to walk toward the steps, Yoongi waves you over, so you change course. Yoongi’s eyes fall to the table in front of him, but he holds his hands out to you, and when you take one in yours, he tugs you onto his lap. 

Seokjin, Hoseok, Jimin, and Taehyung sit on the large blue velvet couch, relaxing in the seat despite appearing tense and apprehensive. All the men are in black button-ups and black slacks except for Jimin, who still wears the leather harness over the white satin shirt that he got from Yoongi. 

You sit on one of Yoongi’s legs, not comfortable enough to relax against him in front of the others, and Yoongi loosely wraps an arm around your waist while he leans his head on his other hand, elbow anchored against the arm of the chair. 

“If you need to rest, boss—” Hoseok starts, but Yoongi lifts his head and opens his palm to stop Hoseok. 

Keep reading

[welpnotagain]

Quick Overview of UKs Circus

Updated 15.02.22, I added a cut this time because Jesus christ is this getting long

just a quick overview for myself and possibly others that follow @becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys updates on the circus that is in town which is the UKs burning car wreck that they call politic.

Just a list of the named participants so we dont mix them up:

TW brief discussion of paedophilia in the parts about Jimmy Saville

Boris Johnson aka Big Dog

-UK’s Prime Minister

-Brexit Idiot

-his initials spell out blowjob somehow this was not warning enough for the people electing him

-57 consecutive bad hair years

-Dumbass of the hour

-father of x children who knows he won't even take responsibility for those, how he keeps finding women willing to sleep with him is a mystery

-just wants to be loved ☹

-had so many parties

> Well-catered work event aka wine and cheese party 30 peeps attended, mind you, it wasn't a party, 100 invited, famously you can just dip on work events if you don't feel like it that's why 70% didn't show up

> Surprise! Birthday Party 30+ people "Oh so celebrating my birthday with a bunch of people and drinking and eating cake and having a good time and not working isnt a work even anymore *scoff* yeah right. I was ambushed. I am the victim here."

> Christmas Party wasn’t invited ☹ (was invited & attended; the party was at his place actually) there is a LYING photo of him out there "surrounded by alcohol, food and people wearing tinsel" do NOT believe this picture! it is a LIAR! it would sell its own mother given half a chance,

> Prince Philip Funeral Party lets goooo

> Wine Time Fridays, Parties every Friday during a global pandemic, don’t miss it! >> the one on Nov13th 2020 is revealed to be investigated by the Met >> 300+ photos of parties at Downing Street have been received by the Met, it was a bad year for Bori to find out about disposable cameras and handing them out to everyone at his parties like me and my friends did when we were 15.

-“Covid isn’t that dangerous lol”

-promptly catches covid

-had to be kept in his office like a toddler to not infect others

-“Covid is dangerous unlol”

-decidedly not strong like a bull, but about as smart as one

-wanted senior officials to take the fall and force them to resign

-threatened to cut BBC license fee, ending covid restrictions, Asking the military to protect against asylum seekers crossing the channel so they must go to Rwanda and Ghana for processing instead

-meets MPs and cries because nobody likes him anymore :(

-didn’t attend a party! (yay) because he broke the law by travelling to his second home (nay) also knew about the party and said lmao yeah go-ahead

-lied to the House of Commons (generally seen as a dick move)

-would sell his children, he has enough to go around, so MPs don’t send mean little letters, also offered more money and threatened to take funds away if people wrote antilove-letters

-idiot that made the rules but didn’t know they also applied to him (was warned that he wasn’t cool enough for this to work)

-wrote a book about Churchill, was lying through his teeth while writing it, probably really didn’t know the Churchill speech because he definitely didn’t know a lot of stuff while writing his book, historians delighted to rip it to shreds

-dropped all covid restrictions (scientists are weeping)

-actually did the threatening himself like an idiot

> that’s misconduct in public office which is a crime babyyyy

-in an insanely bad move announces that he decides how much of the report on the investigation on him will be published to really just fucking hit his last supporters over the head with a shovel saying “I am corrupt, you idiot!”

-prioritised evacuation animals from Afghanistan over people, people are very hung up on this and I wish they'd do more about it than complain and actually see the big picture of all his bs rather than just this tiny part, getting real thoughts and prayer vibes from those guys

-said he will make a statement regarding the Gray report once it is made public in the House of Commons, apparently, this was not something that would go without saying.

-said the entire report will be published so we'll how many questions will arise from all the things we already know

-was asked if he thought that the ministerial code "ministers who knowingly mislead parliament are expected to offer their resignation" applies to him, "yeah" "are you gonna resign since you mislead the parliament over your parties?" "no", so uh. no he doesnt

-is willing to be interviewed by the police, beliefs however he is innocent, contrary to all the proof showing that he is, in fact, guilty

-I swear me and my hundreds of working staff and my other coworkers who are living somewhere else are one household! Come by fridays to see us hanging out and drinking wine! Its basically as if we live together!

-man who looks like he couldnt make it up a single flight of stairs without wheezing fatshames someone for pointing out throwing a birthday party during a lockdown might be a shit idea.

-accuses Keir Starmer of letting Jimmy Saville (who is dead), DJ, BBC Moderator, paedophile, avoid justice; completely ignoring the fact that Keir Starmer had absolutely nothing to do with that, had no power whatsoever and didn't fucking do that, since this was a planned accusation in a desperate attempt to make somebody else the boogyman for a second his advisors (Number 10 staff) literally all told him "for the love of God don't fucking say that" Boris, however, knew in his heart of hearts that he had to spread that lie nonetheless.

-didnt know what to say at his "half-time pep talk" so he quoted the movie he saw the night before with his current child (we'll see when he abandons it) and goes on to quote Rafiki,,, from the Lion King,,, basically saying "change is good I promiseee" not seeing the irony that is screaming in his face that demands the change is that he LEAVES, couldnt even be bothered to look up if something similar was said in Hamlet. now if I had read Hamlet i would add a better quote from it but i didnt so alas.

-claims he fired the people who resigned because of the Gray Report (he didn't, let's be honest with ourselves here)

-cares deeply about the environment, the only little guilty pleasure he allows himself is flying with a private jet every now and then 🥰

-claims that offences have fallen, The UK Statistics Authority calls cap because they have increased and BJ cant stop lying

-wrote a very flowery worded article back in 2006 about Tony Blair basically saying "politicians don't fucking know when to quit" obviously once again the irony is palpable

-has """"buyers remorse"""" over his wife of 8 months(as of February of 2022 he said this in 21 tho after marrying her in fucking July) and his new BABIES stop having children then you fucktard, apparently avoids going home because of the misses, Carrie is a bitch in and of herself but fucking Yikes man. two people that really deserve each other and two kids that will grow up severely damaged

-sang "I will survive" to his new director of communications, I can only imagine his beautiful singing voice, kinda like nails on a blackboard

-will NOT be apologising about the Saville thing because he has stuff to do today, tomorrow? he will have stuff to do then too shut up and stop asking

Confirmed Number of sent Letters of no confidence: 17/54

(confirmed by the bbc) r/ukpolitics Tracker for the letters

The Others

MP: Member of Parliament, PM: Prime Minister,

Whipping (The Whip): an official of a political party whose task is to ensure party discipline in a legislature. This means ensuring that members of the party vote according to the party platform, rather than according to their own individual ideology or the will of their donors or constituents

- Pippa Crerar: journalist, with integrity those are rare, that broke the news about the first party, got Dominic Cummings to be willing to swear under oath that Big Dog is an idiot even and knew about the one (1) party that he didn’t attend, posts a picture of boris a the christmas party of No 10 during PMQs (Prime Minister Questions, a weekly session in which the PM has to answer questions from MPs)

- Metropolitan Police: (Scotland Yard is it's headquarters, dont get confused its the same thing)“we’re not gonna investigate suck a dick cough sorry I meant there isn’t enough evidence”, so fucking corrupt o my fucking god, protect number 10 and those officers who did might just actually work with Sue Gray, "goddamit fucking hell fine we will investigate jesus christ fuck you guys. THIS IS A ONE TIME THING. DONT GET USED TO IT", is investigating a "number of events" for potential breaches of the lockdowns at the time, apparently dont investigate crimes that happened in the past? Check it out guys i found a secret photograph of the Met hard at work to investigate future crime, which is their usual business!

[ID: a screenshot from the show futurama, from the episode in which a robot solves future crime by calculating which crime will happen next. it is a robot in something looking like a bathtub with cables connected to his head and chest. End ID] didnt let Sue Gray release her complete report BUT! thats actually a good thing because it would allow tories to get their stories straight which would be a bad thing, a watchdog has been investigating them and has found "a culture of disgraceful misogyny, discrimination and sexual harassment" we are all pretending to be shocked, I cant show it on my face I just dont have it in me anymore to pretend that much. Actually, if I look at it this way (with my eyes open instead of closed), the Christmas Party might have actually been illegal! 50 Partygoers are being contacted. Have been outright threatened that they better sleep with one eye open if you come for the chihuahua

-Cressida Dick a senior police officer of the Met, its in her name she is a massive dick, FUMING about the "a culture of disgraceful misogyny, discrimination and sexual harassment" allegations, has absolutely NO intentions of resigning!!! Mayor of London: u suck. Cressida jumps on her laptop presumably after writing in her burn book with tears streaming down her face and hands in her resignation.

-Sadiq Khan Mayor of London, presumably destroyed Cressida Dick which she had coming, wants to rebuild trust by appointing a new trustworthy replacement for Dick with the help of no other but Priti Petal, an absolute Cressida Stan.

- Dominic Cummings: ex-chief adviser of big dog, is pretty sure the wine and cheese parties were actually legal so jot that down, advised BJ against throwing parties that were against the law (notably not the wine and cheese ones) and generally a bad idea, ready to go under oath to get his ex-boss in trouble and honestly what a mood, pinky promises he didn't leak the pictures from the parties; BJ, Cummings, the jokes write themselves, called BJ a clown after he sang I will survive to his new director of communications

- Matt Hancock Tory MP “please don’t have wine and cheese parties :( covid is serious” on the day of the wine and cheese party at Boris place which he attended

- Mistress aka Carrie Johnson: (who is btw 33 and her Lovely husband is 53, have been married since july 2021) woman Boris was fucking while his cancer suffering ex-wife was going through chemo, current wife, yet to be cheated on as far as we know, can only be a matter of time, that we do know, threw her husband, the Prime Minister of the UK, a birthday party during a lockdown, could not possibly be more presumptuous, mother of two out of x amount of children that blowjob has, children that boris has said to regret, like he regrets marrying her, yikes.

- Sue Gray, civil servant: Number 10 staff, sure she is corrupt but! Not a politician. We are grasping for straws, let's not be too demanding. the one who got to investigate her boss (the dream) and write her Gray Report, couldn't fucking write fast enough with all the witnesses that came forward, the watered-down version of the report IS be published, Sue presumably went to bed right after and took a two-week nap. It covers all alleged events, However, the parties that the Met is investigating are only allowed to be mentioned briefly , also she had pictures of world-worst-person-in-hiding-the-evidence BlowJo at parties surrounded by wine, according to the tories her official email is ItsAllSueGravyBaby@aol.com so don't you guys go around abusing that knowledge, presumably cannot believe she served under these fucking idiots so far

- Keir Starmer MP Leader of the Labour Party and the Opposition, showed a backbone for about 5secs and described Boris as a pathetic spectacle of a man, asked Big Dog if he thought that the ministerial code "ministers who knowingly mislead parliament are expected to offer their resignation" applies to him, "yeah" "are you gonna resign since you mislead the parliament over your parties?" "no", ex lawyer, since he obviously didnt help Jimmy Saville avoid justice and actually used to work on bringing paedophiles to justice he is now famous for doing exactly that, fighting against paedophilia, proud owner of a backbone in form of a jelly worm, has to be rushed into a police car because a mob or protestors swarm him over the Savile thing. Piers Corbyn (climate change denier), brother of Jeremy Corbyn (ex-leader of the Labor party!!!) was part of the mob, drank a beer alone in his flat, surprisingly that did not break the law you get him next time Daily mail! dont stop trying!

- Nazir Afzal former Chief Crown Prosecutor, whos Wiki page literally starts with "a British solicitor with experience in the legal areas of child sexual exploitation and violence against women.", has worked with Keir Starmer and strongly refutes that Keir somehow helped Jimmy Saville avoid justice (because those are literal lies), actually says Keir "supported [him] in bringing 100s of child sex abusers to justice”

- Rishi Sunak Tory MP, Chancellor of the UK aka money boy, looks like a would-kill-you-if-he-could-version of Sam the Eagle from sesame street, possibly Pippa Crerars source?? He isn’t in any pictures so one can only speculate, IS in a picture with boris at the birthday party taken by the official state photographer, not to worry tho his own department threw a drinking party as well (he didn't attend), wants to be PM so bad, asked people who write letters to get rid of Boris if he can help, announces a new tax rise calls it the Prime Minister’s tax, really just wants even the last 3 people that still like Boris to go from :) to >:(, did attend the Seriously-guys-its-not-a-birthday-party-this-work-event-just-so-happens-to-have-cake-and-booze-and-people-illegally-singing Meeting, there is literally a picture of him and Boris at that party! promises however that he wasnt invited :( The chancellor. Of the UK. Wasnt invited to the meeting but the las that painted the walls in a slightly different shade of white was. alright. The present he had in his hands that his mommy let him pick out was just something he found on the street in front of the building and he wanted to ask them if they had lost it. Why he was at the house when he wasn't invited to neither the party nor the meeting? well because -- *runs away* *comes back to finish my piece* anyway after being put on the spot he says he wouldnt have done the insane accusation about the Saville thing, now that only makes sense who the fuck would do that but blowjob himself? Anyway shouldnt the PM apologise for that "Thats for him to decide" ah right the blade of grass that acted as his spine for a second there was immediately crushed by his being a piece of shit, somehow dares to claim that heating bills are a struggle because *insert easily disprovable excuse aka lie*, is torn to shreds about this by Martin Lewis a financial journalist and the guy behind the money saving expert thing, a The guy behind the £600m lost and no PPE thing

- House of Lords; aka Lords: second chamber of parliament of the UK, pretty pissed at the not so good boy Boris so they rejected bills out of pettiness which is good because they were horrific

- Nadine Dorres Tory MP: evil, minister of mental health, will show up when you say her name in front of a mirror three times, looks like you dressed a scarecrow in the fanciest clothes the one aunt you hate owns, looks like someone edited Cartoon version of Cruella DeVil to what she'd look like if she lost all of the things that make her design cool, came up with Operation Dead Red Meat, oh so just because its a birthday party its a party huh? checkmate plebs “My god, Nadine, you’re embarrassing yourself.”, might be BJs new affair the way she is acting, "have you talked with the PM in the last 24h?" "we have communicated" wink wink nudge nudge ;)))))), secretary of state for Digital, Culture, Media and Sport, has yet to figure out that in an interview you usually Answer Questions, could not have been worse prepared for the interview that becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys linked, "changed what?" "his attitude" "to what?" girl. How did you even manage to walk into politics with your mediocre at best grasp of the English language? has removed the restriction that stopped Rupert Murdoch, billionaire, fucking executive chairman of fox corporation Rupert Murdoch, Murdoch who publically admitted to having tried to sway public opinion to support G.W. Bushes Iraq war That same fucking Rupert Murdoch. that he now can interfere with the editorial independence of The Times and the Sunday Times which he both ownes. Literally allowing him to produce massive propaganda and expose The Times to his censorship and his other fucking insanities

-Unnamed Cabinet Member (Nadine Dorries???): angry that not everyone follows Doggo and believes his every word blindly (alright yeah its Nadine Dorries), accuses Rishi Sunak the money boy, of conspiring i guess? against the chihuahua, hopes the BlowJo fires moneyboy, which is very very very very dumb because that would just cut him loose, with nothing to lose and probably a bunch of fucking incriminating knowledge against the PM he would fucking destroy him, he'd simply massacre him for all to see

- BBC: Broadcaster, muzzled by tories, turns out can be pretty angry if you threaten to cut their funding and might just actually do good journalism again

- Ghana: has never heard of operation red meat and thinks it's stupid

- Laura Kuenssberg, full-time bitch, sometimes also a journalist. Tory, will be investigating for the BBC

- Queen, The Queen™, Lizzie, turned down the possibility to invite more people to her husbands funeral while the parliament was probably drinking and playing twister

- Christian Wakefield ex-Tory now Labour MP: lives for the drama, sat directly behind Keir Starmer effectively changing parties after telling everyone that he was bullied by Gavin Williamson to be loyal to Boris, was threatened that funds for a new school would be pulled so naturally, he brought that up because literally, everyone can universally agree that that is a bad look

- David Davies, Tory MP: worst David Davies you can find and there are apparently a lot: recited the speech given to pre-Winston Churchill PM so he'd step down “You have sat there too long for all the good you have done, in the name of God go.“; a different one of these said “hey lets not raise the tax" because now it's connected to Boris and who can say no to some free cloud

- Diana Johnson Labour MP, girl bossed the exact right amount when she asked “If the PM is spending his time trying to convince the British public that he’s stupid instead of dishonest, isn’t it time he goes? Now?”

- Will Wragg Tory Mp, presumably unhappy about his name, accused number 10 of blackmail, madman,

- Number 10: House in which PM and the First Lord are roommating, blackmailed folks to leak embarrassing stories if they don’t support Big Boy Boris who definitely did NOT cry (he did), the officials (number 10 staff NOT politicians) were threatened into silence but spoke up to add to the Gray Report, is facing police investigation over alleged 👀 breaches of lockdown rules. "we didnt break the law. check my sources" sources: trust me bro (dont trust them), "listen, LISTEN, we told BJ to not fucking say that about our Keir Starmer okay? We told him to shut the fuck up but he doesnt listen what do you want us to do? tape his mouth shut???"

- Sajid Javid Tory MP, his brother is running the Metropolitan police

- Jacob Rees-Mogg Tory MP, supports little ol boris, threatens that the UK will go to a general election if Bori gets thrown off of his thrown of stupidity "k" says everybody else and immediately goes back to what they were doing before, claims the morning after pill is abortion, it is literally classified as emergency contraception. contraception PREVENTS pregnancy. once again scientists are weeping, everyone with a basic understanding of human reproduction and contraception is weeping, gets demoted to Brexit Opportunities Minister, a job that sounds absolutely made up and something that the useless son of a ceo would do, he now will obviously get a well-earned pay raise of 35K a year. has asked the readers of The Sun to send him benefits they could possibly think of because he sure cant think of any from brexit. you know I was disturbed, angry even, about the pay raise before but you know. I truly think he has earned it.

- Michael Fabricant, Tory MP, semi-professional Boris Impersonator, described Palestinian activists as “primitives” who are “trying to bring to London what they do in the Middle East”, cant pull off Owen Wilsons haircut but he be damned if he isnt trying, a supporter of BJ, “everyone has done a bit of blackmailing, what's the big deal?”, made sure we all knew that Mark Spencer posted a dictated tweet says he really isn’t #islamophobic! He promises! Nusrat Ghani is just like … unimaginative… and mediocre… anyway #Boris is not #islamophobic!, “Are we talking party poppers and wild Ibiza nights? I don’t think so!” says local crazy man that has repeatedly proven he cannot think. believes BJ when he says that he fired the people that resigned once again proving that he cannot think,

- Theresa May, Tory MP ex-PM, UKs second female PM (they have a track record of voting women into office when they are like an inch away from a cliff so the drop can be connected to the female PMs so they can blame them, this does not at all excuse the women who both were/are bitches in their own regard, notably she was the one stuck with having to start the Brexit bs while Cameron resigned after the referendum) was voted out of office because nobody liked her, objectively bad person, filled with schadenfreude, knighted Saville despite being aware that the guy was a fucking paedophile!!

- Fiona Bruce, journalist that hosts Question Time a political debate show. In which nobody would defend Boris because he is a bad person who made bad decisions

- Mark Drakeford, First Minister of Wales, thinks Boris is an idiot and will continue to make the sensible decision to Not drop all covid restrictions because that is insane, “We are a government that doesn’t need to grab headlines to distract attention”

- Rory Stewart, ex Tory MP, looks like a dehydrated John Mulaney, lost in the PM race against Dogboy left politics in 2019, contra Dog, says the whip system functionally makes the UK an elected dictatorship (shocker), easily shows how dumb it would be to fire the people who resigned because they were literally BJs most senior staff and he has no fucking successors?

- Chris Bryant Labour MP, on a moral crusade (he is an ex-priest so it fits the bill) against tories, which.. good for him,

- Nusrat Ghani Tory MP, was too muslimic? Just had to be fired, no way around it; is now back to sitting at the kids table aka the backbenches, in time out maybe she can come out when she stops being a Muslim who knows

- Mark Spencer: Nusrat Ghani means me when she says she was fired for her “Muslimness”, I didn’t do it tho, I pinky promise, who are you gonna believe? Me or some Muslim? Posted a dictated tweet about this, it wasn’t a good tweet

- Baroness Warsi, Member of the house of lords, also experienced Tory Islamophobia (gasp, no way!)

- Dominic Raab Tory MP, Deputy PM: had to announce that BJ will decide how much of the Gray report will be published for the public

- Gavin Williamson Tory MP, threatens other MPs to be loyal to Boris or their funding will be cut, can however not recall the conversations in which that happened so I guess he is free to go, officer!

- Michael Ellis Tory MP: man who is holding too many offices, okay MAYBE (cue laughter) the people setting the rules haven't been following them ugh whatever, I can't talk about ongoing police investigations

-Liz Truss Tory MP, foreign secretary: woman that looks like she'd traumatise the 16-year-old working at McDonalds if they got her order slightly wrong, BJ has her "100% support". Says it might just be not a good idea of publishing the entire report because........ security issues...... so its like ~problematic to publish~, supposedly didnt attend any of the parties -> says she wasnt invited, which is weird to say considering that makes it sound like that is the only reason you didnt go, went to the Tory emergency meeting without a mask, caught covid because karma workes a lot faster these days. described by Russian Foreign Secretary as "like talking to a deaf person" so like probably a very attentive listener

-Conor Burns Tory MP, presumingly the man aiming a gun at Blowjobs head and forcing him to eat cake, "I have been informed it was not, in fact, cake. I have yet to be informed what it actually was. The meme lied to me, it was not all cake all along. I am currently working on building my world up new from the ground since it was shattered in the smallest of pieces.", probably upset that he has to say it wasnt cake because it was probably him who baked it and he was actually kinda proud of it

-Huw Merriman Tory MP, looks like Rami Malek if he was not quite ugly but supremely mediocre at best, stepped into human poo at the Dover lorry convoy kinda like politics shits on the basic human needs of lorry drivers (truckers).

-Ian Blackford Scottisch politican, who actually looks like he'd be the life of the party, accuses BlowJo of lying, this is a serious accusation since lying in Parliament is kind of a crime, when he was asked if he meant that the PM was mistaken he said "Nah, fucker lied" which he was kicked out for

-Ed Miliband former Labour leader, calls Boris "a stain on our politics" which is funny as hell and also brutal lol

-Unispace Global Ltd company, was paid £600m for PPE by the goverment, has since then not answered the phone the money is just ... gone? There is no PPE. There was no exchange of goods and services. there was only money and ghosting >> according to Nursingnotes.co.uk this money would have been enough to double the salary of every NHS nurse

-Priti Patel Tory MP, daughter of the last good immigrants (her father literally is also a child of immigrants, not to worry tho he joined a rightwing party in England) and she be damned if she doesnt try every fucking thing to prevent others from trying to proof that there are good immigrants after her parents came to the UK, child of immigrants that hates immigrants just as much as your conservative disgusting old uncle that you are willing to ruin christmas for just to argue with him because my god how can you be such a fucking cunt, according to her fashion sense she is trying so hard to become white by proxy, literally wants the military to police the channel and send refugees back to france, the Ministry of Defence told her to get fucked, has to find a replacement for her bias Cressida Dick with the mayor of london, absolutely fuming about this

-Mohammed Amersi Major Tory Donor, proofing that even as an immigrant you can be bigoted against other immigrants, wants his 200K back because "I wasnt invited to all your illegal parties. I cant believe you guys would have illegal parties without me!!"

-Dominic Grieve ex-Tory MP, defends Keir Starmer against the Savile lie, "&when the PM tells a whopping lie that's put out by fascist right-wing websites, that's a disgraceful thing to do"

-Yvette Cooper Labour MP, demands PM correct himself when he said that crime stats have fallen when that is literally not true, Boris doesnt care for it so he doesnt.

-Guto Harri NEW director of communications, fucking sucks, made himself a "joke" by being a cunt in welsh politics and is now ready for the big breakthrough and will begin to clown on the entire UK.

-Year Six Kids Students learning about the British political system, hurt the Tories feelings :( by writing mean letters :((( its about time we stop teaching the children. back when the tories were rich children from rich families they didnt criticise the politicians, they were to busy being rich and enjoying that

-John Major, ex-PM, ex-Tory MP, ex-Tory Party Leader, says that Boris broke the law about the parties, calls for Tory MPs to put country before party and get rid of Blowjob, foolishly I had believed they were always supposed to put the country before the fucking party.

Now to our lost tributes, just imagine the cool pictures int the sky like in the hunger games (resigned or fired, incomplete list):

-Elena Narozanski, advisor to the BJ, Education Policy Specialist, resigns. -Martin Reynolds, principle private secretary to the PM (chad who send out the invitations to not waste the good weather. bring your own booze!!), resigns. -Dan Rosenfield, chief of staff at Number 10, resigns. -Munira Mirza, advisor to the BJ, Head of Policy, PUBLISHED HER RESIGNATION LETTER, resigns. -Jack Doyle, director of communication, quote journalist unquote, used to work for the Daily Mail so yknow journalist for what it is worth, resigns. -Cressida Dick, Commissioner of Police of the Met, resigns

[sappynapper]

Couples costumes you’d go as for Halloween x crew boys

Featured CCs: Dream, Sapnap, George, Karl, Quackity

cws: fem!reader, suggestive, alcohol mention in george’s

it was chilly today and now I am so fucking jazzed for halloween LETS GOOOO

Dream:

Percy and Annabeth - Percy Jackson

Nerd alert. He’s a percy kinnie and he wants to go as percy and annabeth and that’s that. you agree when he gives you those puppy eyes and calls you his “wise girl” (i’m going to scream). You spend the evening basically in character bc he keeps knocking things over with his sword and you keep wondering how you got here. you look cute in your matching orange shirts tho, makes it the most obvious-that-you’re-a-couple couple costume which dream is a fan of bc he’s clingy :3

Anakin and Padme - Star Wars

I repeat: NERD ALERT. He needs an excuse to buy a lightsaber and carry it around for the evening quoting that frickin “if you’re not with me, then you’re my enemy” thing. also he gets high key flustered seeing you dressed as his childhood crush, especially in that white outfit 😳 ((padme amidala supremacy🧎)) side note, this is actually not a couples costume because it also includes sapnap as obi-wan lmao. he is only slightly less nonplussed than you are

bonus: mans has the nerve to joke about going as shrek and fiona and then refuse to follow through smh

Sapnap:

I don’t know shit about anime so now neither does y/n even tho realistically sapnap would insist on anime costumes but anyway

Snorlax and Charmander - Pokemon

It was your idea, and admittedly sort of a cop out. you were busy ok??? but when you brought home the pokemon onesies, Sap was 100% on board. A fun halloween costume and he got to be cosy all evening?? how could he say no. Plus he thought you looked unfairly adorable with your lil flame tail and and literal sweater paws. can’t stop putting his arms round you all evening :))) 🔥

Fred and Daphne - Scooby Doo

mans agrees to go as fred and daphne so he can see you in a mini skirt send tweet

but fr it’d be cute as heck and i can see some of your friends going as the rest of the scooby gang (karl and tina as shaggy and velma? iconic??) dream might even let you put a scooby doo collar on patches for photos 🐾

George:

Flint Lockwood and Sam Sparks - Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs

Basically i think George isn’t super into costumes so the idea has to be reasonably low-key if you want to convince him. this one was perfect bc it really only involved wrestling the boy into a lab coat and attacking his hair with some extra strength hold gel (win win bc you get to have your hands in his hair and he gets to have your hands in his hair 😌) but the effect was still very much there. meanwhile you’re stuck hot glueing pipe cleaners and pom-poms to an umbrella to make a spaghetti and meatballs twister reference prop so your costume isn’t just a blue cardigan lol. george is very nice about the ugly ass homemade prop that you end up throwing in a skip after three drinks :3

Karl:

Ashitaka and San - Princess Mononoke

Karl would basically be down for any Ghibli duo but this is the one i can see him pulling off (as much as i would die to see him in a howl pendragon wig). You guys would put together the costumes yourself (couples crafts 😍) and they come out so cuuuute. I don’t normally include photos but these are the exact vibes i’m envisioning:

Cosmo and Wanda - Fairly OddParents

Iconic and easy to pull off with some simple colour coding. you get those spray cans of non-permanent hair dye from like claire’s and get it all over your dang hands help each other apply it. you also paint each other’s nails and you make little gold crowns and wands with stars on the end. actually adorable vibes by the time you’re done. highly instagrammable and you keep a polaroid of the two of you in costume in your phone case 🥺

also i think he’d wanna go as sword art online characters maybe? but i haven’t played it so

Quackity:

Lightning McQueen and Sally Carrera - Cars

ffsjfkdlfhb somehow he convinced you. i don’t know how. but now your face is smeared with blue face paint and Q has lightning bolts on his cheeks and the whole thing is so unbelievably cursed. it’s smudged before you even leave the house from the tears of laughter streaming down your faces, and you’re both just collapsed on the bathroom floor struggling to catch your breath and starting back up laughing every time you look at the other’s face

Gomez and Morticia Addams - The Addams Family

Last year he made you go as a blue cartoon car so now you can force him to don an outrageous fake moustache and pinstripe suit for the evening :) low-key he actually looked handsome asl though (you were mad your revenge plot kinda backfired tbh). if it helps you’ve got the sauce as morticia and mans is overwhelmed to say the least 😌

[belovedrat]

RAHHHHHGGG DTIYS ⁉️⁉️🤍🤍💗💗

ALSO LETS FUCKING GOOOO 100 followers and many more to go >w<

Wow. Das a big number.

[onesmallcentury]

top 5 redacted audios, nsft

I’m doin it ya’ll. If there’s one thing you should know about me, it’s that I am not afraid to be blatantly sex-positive on main. If you’re cool with that, and you’re ready for me to have absolutely way too many thoughts about the 18+ content on rasmr, then let’s goooo! 

Also, tagging anyone who feels wild and funky fresh. 

18+ discussion below the cut. Minors DNI. 

Sooooo I decided to split this into 2 parts, because why not?! First part is the 18+ content available on the youtube channel (like HBW, HBS, etc). Also not linking these because I’m just too lazy right now please forgive.

1. Your Dom Incubus Confesses His Feelings to You - HELLO?! If I could hold this video in my little hands and give it a smooch I would. GAVIN. This audio was absolutely the springboard for my magenta series. I can’t get over how perfectly Erik paces it, the transitions from sexy -> serious -> emotional -> joyful, I get fucking whiplash every time. The vulnerability from Gavin in this audio, and that first ‘I love you’.......I’m just going to lay here on the floor. 

2. A Steamy Shower With Your Tsundere Alpha Werewolf Boyfriend - Alright the rest of this list is going to be me ranking my favorite HBW audios lol. No shade to last year’s HBS, I adore those too, but HBW really popped off for me. David’s HBW had absolutely everything. The wood chopping, the shower, omg. My favorite part about this audio was David’s ‘I know you want me, and I want you too’ attitude. 

3. Heating Up in the Bedroom With Your Himbo Boyfriend - BIG HIMBO ENERGY YES PLEASE. I listen to the first half of this audio with a stupid grin on my face every time. The tenderness of letting him ramble, uninterrupted? And the second half, *ahem*. The voice drop(!!!), the kisses, the pleased hums, I go crazy. Also I’m obsessed with Huxley saying “babe”. 

4. Fireside Cuddles Get Hot With Your Vampire Boyfriend - A lore drop?? In my smutty vignette??? It’s more likely than you think! Not only that, but flirty Vincent. Perfection. I also think that because it was the first HBW released (I think??) that it really set the tone. 

5. Taking Care of Your Overworked Boss Boyfriend Gets Hot - I don’t have very many coherent thoughts about this one. I love Aaron. I love relaxed Aaron. I love relaxed Aaron becoming turned on Aaron. I love Aaron saying baby. Brain melts when re-listening to this one. ALSO PLEASE THIS TIMESTAMP - 21:26

Okay, now we rank the Bonus Audios that are Patreon exclusive. Ya’ll still with me?? Lol

1. Milo - OBVIOUSLY. Ya’ll read apple and honey, you know what I’m about. I 100% believe that this BA is perfect. The best balance of spicy and soft. Check-ins, praise, dirty talk, GROWLING, HELLO?! I don’t think I need to say more. The day we get a 2nd BA for Milo is the day you see me combust. 

2. Gavin - Specifically referring to his first BA, that follows the ‘sneaking kisses at a party’ video. Dirty talk in this one is god tier. We love soft Gavin, but we love slutty Gavin too. 

3. Huxley - When I tell you I screeched when I listened to this for the first time. I’ll say it again, voice drop. I also collapsed into a heap at the concept of him getting them off and not immediately expecting reciprocation. 

4. A tie between David (2) and Aaron - I honestly couldn’t pick between these two. They’re just both the best kind of dom. David being feral, and Aaron being, well, Aaron. I can’t say much more without being incredibly explicit lol. 

5. Flyboi - YA’LL. THIS AUDIO GRABBED ME BY THE THROAT. I know we were all incredibly shook when we got this notification, but then the audio was so fucking hot. It helps that phone sex is one of my favorite tropes. Also the mouth sounds in this one I’m sorry you can bury me now. 

Honorable mentions: Geordi, Asher, and Elliott!!

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 276: Our Turn to Save You

Previously on BnHA: In a refreshing change of pace from the usual “the adults refuse to tell the kids anything” shtick, Deku and Kacchan flew around trying to get Tomura’s attention while refusing to explain jack shit to Endeavor! Deku eventually thought to ask Kacchan why he was getting in on this, and Kacchan launched into a two-page Denial Speech which seemed expressly designed to prime him for losing his quirk any fucking second now! Tomura then showed up and the two of them were all “KJSDLFK” but thankfully Gran dove in to rescue them from dying INSTANTANEOUS HORRIBLE DEATHS, and reminded them that there are practically SIX WHOLE GROWN-UPS left who can definitely still fight Tomura and won’t die at all!! And one of those grown-ups is Aizawa! Who’s getting ready to fight Tomura now! Listen Horikoshi you fucker, when I asked for more Aizawa angst and badassery this ISN’T WHAT I –

Today on BnHA: Tomura is all “THIS QUIRK WON’T STOP ME BECAUSE I CAN’T READ” and sort of shrugs it off and continues to kick ass even though his Decay and AFO powers aren’t working. The pros all try to stop him with Endeavor taking the lead, and because THEY ALL SUCK, APPARENTLY, nothing they do is effective in any way whatsoever! Meanwhile Gran dumps Deku and Kacchan off and is all “YOU’LL BE FINE HERE” which is the most ridiculous thing anyone in this manga has ever said, and then pretty much as soon as he says it at least nine more High Ends (excuse me, NEARLY High Ends) just POP UP OUT OF NOWHERE and are all “RARR” and the heroes are all “oh shit” and Tomura is all “lol yeah I actually had more High Ends this whole time” and Ujiko is all “it’s true!” and, fuck. The chapter ends with Tomura charging in to kill Aizawa only to be intercepted by MY TWO PRECIOUS BABIES, MY DARLING LITTLE HERO HATCHLINGS, and...!! I blame Gran for this.

gotta say, my sense of time is distorted enough as it is these days without chapter leaks coming out A WHOLE ENTIRE DAY EARLY out of nowhere. not that I’m complaining, because I want to see Aizawa kick some ass & immediately lose his fucking quirk as much as anyone, but it is disorienting

anyway time to dive into this chapter which I predict will be titled “everything instantly goes horribly wrong.” I’ve had a lot of time these past two weeks to think about what is going to happen next, and I’m pretty sure I nailed it you guys

so we’re opening with a familiar sight

I like that Horikoshi thinks that helicopters go “chop chop.” well, close enough

anyway, so yet again we have a scene in BnHA of a town in the process of being destroyed by villains while a helicopter whirs (WHIRS, Horikoshi) and chuffs (SOMETIMES THEY CHUFF TOO) anxiously nearby. I wonder if this helicopter is going to fucking disintegrate. that’d be something new

ARE YOU GOING TO DIE, MISTER LIVE REPORTER SIR. OH MAN. OH GOD I’M ANXIOUS

dozens, you guys! there are dozens of them left! not to worry then. the good guys definitely still got this

oh hey it’s that news anchor with the cutely fucked-up backstory of chopping off his own horn so as to more handsomely report the news

oh god don’t tell me this whole thing is going to be broadcast live. that’s all we fucking need right now. I wonder what’s going to throw society into chaos more, the reveal of just how powerful Tomura is now, or the exposure of what the government-mandated child soldiers get to do during their super-educational practical on-the-job training! no coffee-fetching for these kiddos! we’ve got ‘em rolling up their sleeves and getting their hands good and dirty!

oh hey and it looks like this means that All Might will get to watch protege #2 lose his quirk live on TV -- HEY WHAT ARE YOU SERIOUS

BAD BABYSITTER!! MY GOD MAN, I KNOW YOU’RE THE INDULGENT GRANDFATHER TYPE, BUT MAYBE CONSIDER CHANGING THE CHANNEL TO DOC MCSTUFFINS FOR THE TIME BEING??!

also I know this is just a perspective thing probably but lmao his hand on her shoulder is fucking huge. All Might you been working out again

but seriously this is not good for either of them to witness. they don’t need more trauma in their lives! All Might doesn’t need yet another thing to blame himself over! and he has conflicted feelings about Tomura still on top of that which I’m sure isn’t going to make this any easier. ANGST ALL AROUND. EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK, EVERYWHERE YOU GOOOO

MOTHERFUCKER I --

is Mitsuki looking at fucking baby pictures of Kacchan. reliving the memories of the good old days, thinking about how far her baby boy has come and how proud she is. that’s just great you guys. that’s just fucking great. these aren’t even red flags at this point these are red fucking tapestries

(ETA: and this basically goes without saying, but I’m sure the fact that not one but THREE Todorokis are represented in this little montage means that Endeavor and Shouto are also going to be just fine.)

:)

HE’S SO HAPPY just fucking try and tell me he doesn’t have a mental fucking link to Tomura and Deku you guys. this bitch knows exactly what is going down right now and he is LIVING FOR IT. that does it. someone please save my spot in the chapter for me I am going to go take a quick walk to calm down

and of COURSE that’s a fucking lie though, god -- [frantically clicks to next page]

LOL HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS

FUCKING MANUAL IS HERE TO SAVE THE DAY LMAO. YOU CAN ALL FUCKING RELAX NOW. and fuck me, I’m so fucking happy RockLockRock is still alive as well but WHY ARE YOU STANDING RIGHT NEXT TO AIZAWA IN WHAT I LIKE TO CALL THE “CAUTION: YOU WILL GET SHOT” ZONE. swear to god Horikoshi THAT MAN HAS A FAMILY don’t you even think about -- !!

sigh, anyway so then the rest of the page is panels of Gran & The Boys, Endeavor, and Tomura, along with the text “WHICH SIDE IS THE VICTOR”, which is not helping matters any! also the title of the chapter is “Cheating” which I assume is a reference to both the erasure of Tomura’s quirk, and the soon-to-happen permanent removal of Aizawa’s. I’m just an optimist like that

oh hey and Tomura’s sending out some quick orders to his squad as well

and to think this homicidal maniac is in my top ten favorite characters. sob. I do love you kiddo so please don’t take it personally that I have to unequivocally root against you here. maybe if you listened to me once in a while and would even just consider my radical alternate plan of not killing anyone in sight

anyway lol but here everyone including myself thought he was going straight for the bullets and instead he was pulling out his phone. shows what we know. [braces myself for the follow-up panel of him putting the phone away again and THEN reaching for the bullets!!]

meanwhile we’re being introduced to some new sidekick of Endeavor’s who’s probably going to set the record for shortest time in between being introduced and dying horribly. sorry Kido. I’m just jaded

don’t mind me I’m just putting up emotional walls in between myself and any new lovable characters as a means of self-preservation. mmhmm. he can manipulate the trajectory of things. that’s nice. he seems nice. wouldn’t that be a nice quirk for Tomura to steal and then trajector a bullet straight towards Aizawa ffffff

(ETA: watch this space, everyone. Endeavor’s Sidekick Kido. gonna fuck everything up for everyone, mark my words.)

so I can’t help but notice that now that Tomura can’t use his quirk anymore and is helpless, they have all decided to just sit around doing nothing again?

like. far be it from me to openly wonder why they are not immediately knocking him out or setting him on fire again or whatnot. I am just a lowly civilian. it’s not my job to question these things

(ETA: I must learn to be patient.)

also lmao at Manual saying Aizawa’s ankle is “twisted”, similar to how Deku is constantly “twisting” all of his arms and legs all the time. or did he mean “twisted” in the sense that his leg was pretty much literally wrung out like a fucking towel

anyway so Manual is waterbending liquid into Aizawa’s eyes like that’s supposed to help him NOT close them

has Horikoshi ever had water splashed into his fucking eyes. he and I have had very different experiences as to the effects of this apparently

there we go!!

at least someone out here is fucking trying. for a second there I was honestly worried we were going to see a repeat of “oh well he seems dead enough, let’s just leave, see you at the victory party this weekend, X-Less”

LMAO WHAT KIND OF NONSENSE

[GRABS THESE PANELS AND WAVES THEM IN FRONT OF THE UNCONSCIOUS HAWKS] DID YOU HEAR THAT. DO YOU SEE THAT, BOYO. FACTS. BEING WEAK TO FIRE IS, IN FACT, 100 PERCENT A CHOICE. IF YOU HAD JUST DONE MORE PUSH-UPS AND TRAINED HARDER YOU WOULDN’T BE IN THIS SITUATION RIGHT NOW. SMDH. YOU FUCKING WIMP. YOU RECREANT. YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED

hooooh man. hokay. whew. has anyone seen my suspension of disbelief. I’m so used to having it on me at all times when I read this manga that I must have let my guard down and now it seems I’ve spaced it out. well we’ll just keep a lookout for it

so now we’re cutting to Ujiko who is gleefully bragging that Tomura’s strength is on par with All Might Prime’s, which is just great. and now he’s also starting this sentence and then just... not... finishing it

that’s fine. you just trail off, then. hang those implications. whatever dude

meanwhile RLR and Manny are helping Aizawa limp away while he awkwardly has to twist his neck around to be able to still keep Tomura in his line of sight. I feel like there was probably a better way for them to do this but whatever

anyway thanks for confirming that Ujiko did make Tomura into a Noumu in addition to giving him AFO, though, Horikoshi! that’s very nice of you to unsink one of my theories like that. appreciate it

and hold up, so it occurs to me that “Being Fireproof” could still be a quirk, but just a mutant-type quirk rather than an activation type, meaning that Erasure would have no effect on it! aha! oh, there’s my suspension of disbelief lol it was in my pocket the whole time!!

anyway so Endeavor and Tomura are tussling but I really wish they’d be more careful because if Tomura is still capable of super strength and super speed then he could propel himself out of Aizawa’s line of sight really easily and I feel like this isn’t really helping

is it just me or do they look like they’re TRYING to jump in between Aizawa and Tomura, like?!?! GUYS

LMAO now Gran is just

SHUP. toss. dusts off hands. well that takes care of that

and apparently he’s under the genuine impression that a mere “now stay put you dumdums” is going to have any effect on these two whatsoever. lol okay. we’ll see

anyways YESSSSS, KACCHAN MEET GRAN, GRAN, KACCHAN

meanwhile Kacchan falls silent as he mentally tries to work out who tf “Toshinori” is lmao. I’M SO CHUFFED ABOUT THIS. YES THAT’S ANOTHER USE OF THE WORD “CHUFFED.” VERY VERSATILE AND REMINISCENT OF HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRLING

and now here’s a convenient map showing how far away Deku and Kacchan are from safety!

thanks for that. that’s so reassuring to have this nifty little visual

OH MY GOD GRAN

DO YOU WANT TO FUCKING DIE?? DOES EVERYONE IN THIS FUCKING ARC HAVE A DEATH WISH. MY GOD

“BUT FAR BE IT FROM ME TO LEAVE WITHOUT ANY OMINOUS FORESHADOWING!!” NO INDEED WE CAN’T HAVE THAT!!!

rather than focus anymore on how goddamn foreboding that is, I would instead like to take this moment to call attention to the fact that Gran apparently knows Bakugou’s name but not Present Mic’s. that’s amazing

sob

what good indeed. imagine if they couldn’t even do that. I imagine that would have some far-reaching consequences which might even be interesting to explore as part of a story

:O

I made the same face as them just now fyi

fucking Schrodinger’s High Ends. they only exist when the plot says it’s convenient for them to exist. maybe they’re like fairies and if you say you don’t believe in them they drop dead. where the fuck did these things actually come from?!

WAY TO DROP THE BOYS OFF IN THE MIDDLE OF NOUMU FUCKING CENTRAL MY GOOD MAN. MAYBE WE SHOULD SCROLL BACK UP AND UPDATE THAT MAP. GOOD JOB LMAO

WHAT THE FUCK

welp. they deleted Tomura’s quirk and then sent the strongest guy they had after him, annnnnnnd he went and beat him anyway in like two fucking seconds. so that’s. ... wowee. ...so do we have a plan b, or...

like, holy shit though?? and can you imagine the kind of psychological impact this is having on everyone watching this live on TV right now?? this is literally the anti-Kamino. holy fucking shit. also did Tomura lose an arm or am I just not understanding this image right?? NOT THAT IT SEEMS TO BE BOTHERING HIM IN THE SLIGHTEST??

(ETA: somehow I missed the fact that he is even calling attention to it lol. “I’ll raise [the other hand] when it’s back.” fucking look at Mr. Transcendent here who’s so powerful that when you tear his arms off all it does is make him more sassy. is he secretly related to Mirko.)

idk guys I really think my original chapter title was better

at least Endeavor isn’t fucking dead just yet. four more pages and you might actually make it out of this chapter alive my good man

blah blah blah flashback to Ujiko explaining that the Noumu could be activated by an electric current flowing through them, and that they’re programmed to move only on Tomura’s orders. you know. just more good news

oh hey but at least these ones are mindless so I guess it’s okay for the kids to kick their asses without feeling too conflicted. it’s just too bad “their strength is higher quality than the others” but you win some, you lose some

OH GOOD, THEY’RE GOING STRAIGHT FOR AIZAWA

I’M SURE THAT MIDORIYA “MY BODY MOVED BEFORE I COULD THINK” IZUKU AND BAKUGOU “I’M THE ONE WHO’LL GET PAYBACK FOR THAT DAY” KATSUKI WILL TAKE THEIR GRANDPA’S SAGE ADVICE AND GO AND HIDE WHILE THEIR TEACHER IS IN DANGER. IT’S NOT LIKE THEY’VE LITERALLY GONE TO SCHOOL FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR EXPLICITLY MAJORING IN NOT DOING THAT. YES THIS IS FINE THIS IS FUCKING FINE AND GREAT

NOW WHAT’S HAPPENING THERE’S LOTS OF RUBBLE FALLING AROUND AND STUFF MOVING AND SOMEONE IS TALKING

OH IT’S HIM

excuse me. EXCUSE ME. no, you are NOT. going to fucking die, Aizawa Shouta. HORIKOSHI KOUHEI!!! YOU’RE UNDER ARREST FOR THE CRIME OF DRAWING THIS FUCKING PANEL. THIS ONE, RIGHT HERE. YOU KNEW WHAT YOU WERE DOING. HOW DARE YOU. how FUCKING dare you sir

and if anything happens to RLR I SWEAR TO GOD!! you know what?! you know what?!?

STOP IT

[sitting curled up into a little ball with my knees drawn up to my chest, drawing little finger circles on the floor] I see. so he’s not even concerned about himself at all. it’s his two tiny little hero eggs, his problem children, and the fact that if he dies here there won’t be anything preventing Tomura from finding and killing them. ahh. okay. it’s okay. that’s fine

and goddammit what is he pulling out from his belt. everyone is on the same page here, right? Aizawa’s Not Allowed To Die. that was the deal. WHAT HAS THIS ALL BEEN FOR OTHERWISE

(ETA: yeah but he seriously did just pull a knife out of fucking nowhere though like the kid in that fucking vine lmao. APPARENTLY HE’S HAD IT THIS ENTIRE TIME?? “what if I just stabbed him” lulz. based on the way things were trending, I’m willing to bet it would have literally bounced off of Tomura’s chest at this point, but I’ll give him credit for making the effort.)

NOPE NOPE NOPE NO

(ETA: Shinsou being in the bottom corner... ;_; )

is anyone listening to me!??! I’m over here screaming myself fucking hoarse??! AIZAWA ISN’T FUCKING ALLOWED TO DIE??!! HELLO!?!?!

lol well at least RLR didn’t get steamrolled over

well everyone. we’ve reached page 18. one more to go. what are the odds we end with the boys arriving in the ta-da nick of time to defend their teacher. just who is watching over whom

THERE IT IS!!!

OH NO OH GOD AM I CRYING??! YOU HAD TO GO AND PUT THOSE FLASHBACK PANELS IN?? HIM SAVING DEKU AND CO. AT USJ, PLUS THAT ONE TIME HE DEFENDED BAKUGOU DURING HIS MOST VULNERABLE MOMENT IN FRONT OF A NATIONAL AUDIENCE??? “IT’S OUR TURN TO SAVE YOU”???

and they look so determined and desperate?? and the “Aizawa-sensei!” echoing in both their minds?? and meanwhile Aizawa looks fucking horrified though, because of all the... [gestures] you know? the Terrible Danger?? sob??

anyway. I really let this manga do this to me every damn week. let it just have its fucking way with me. at least Horikoshi didn’t end up breaking the law after all. I don’t know if I could continue to support a mangaka who is willing to commit an actual war crime. no touching Aizawa. OKAY?? OKAY

[devinescribe]

Next Time, No Death, Yeah?

Chapter 10 of '100 Promises'

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Warnings: Swearing, weapons, violence, blood

You were somewhere in Tokyo. Where? You'd find out sooner or later.

Currently however, you were walking through an abandoned mall. Everything was abandoned, so it didn't make this one anymore special than the millions of buildings in Tokyo. There was broken glass under your shoes that crunched when you stepped on it. "That's fucking satisfying," you whispered. "You're weird," Last Boss said from besides you. "Ok, if anytime you talk it's an insult to me imma hit you," you said, glaring playfully at him. It was an empty threat, he noticed, seeing as your tone of voice was too light and playful to be a real threat. "I wouldn't test her patience. She can be a real bitch when she wants to," Niragi stated, walking in front if both of you. Last Boss saw your eyes narrow, like a cat about to pounce on its prey. You reached your hand out, and tugged on his hair. "I just said if you insult me I'll hit you," you laughed. "Ow. Fuck you," he cursed, rubbing his scalp as you laughed. You shrugged your shoulders walking faster, ready for anything to happen. 'What could go wrong?' You thought. 'All the militants must be pretty trust worthy if the have weapons.'

Well, that's what you thought when you first got there. Now, not so much. One of the militants had tried to escape, seeing as they got all they needed from the Beach. Hiding behind objects when the man had a gun seemed like the best idea. "Alright, so what do we do?" You questioned Niragi, who kept looking from the side of the cement wall you two were hiding behind. "Stop the guy, and try not to get shot," Niragi responded, a tone of sarcasm in his voice. You noticed, but really it was a solid plan. Not getting shot was the best outcome for both of you. "Sounds like a good plan to me, let's go!" You shouted. He found it amusing how only a few days into the borderlands, you had already adapted. There was so much change, and usually you didn't do well with change. But yet here you were. "He's going to run out of bullets. And he can't change them that fast. So, let's wait till he runs out, then we grab him and take the gun away," you suggested, pointing at a mirror that showed the reflection of the man. "His bullet case is strapped onto his belt... You damn genius," he said, petting the top of your head. You leaned into his touch, enjoying the feeling. You smiled, shrugging your shoulders. "You the left, I'll take the right," he instructed. "Oki doki, let's goooo I'm bored!" You exclaimed, loading up your pistol. He kneeled down, peeking out the side of where you were hiding. "On the count of three?"

"Yeah."

"One."

"Two."

"Three!"

You both ran at him, being concentrated on the gun. He tried to shoot, but he had already ran out. He reached to grab bullets, but you aimed your gun, shooting it at his arm. He dropped his gun, yelping in pain. Niragi kicked the gun away from him. "Nice shot (N/N)," he complimented, high fiving you. He turned his attention back to the man on the floor. Blood was passing through the hand that covered his wound, staining it crimson. "Damn, any last words? Regrets? You know, death to the traitors and all," Niragi asked, crouching down besides the man, pointing his gun at the man's chest. He gulped, and took a shaky sigh. ''Yeah. I only regret that a girl took me down," he said. Your eyes widened, and you grabbed the knife from its sheath on your waist. You bent down to his level, stabbing the knife into his stomach, and twisting it. He screamed in pain. "This girl knows how to murder and get away with it," you said. You let go of the knife stepping back. He immediately pulled the knife out, making both you and Niragi laugh. "Hey, dumbass. That makes more blood come out," Niragi snickered. The man tried making pressure on his stomach his shirt staining dark red. "Alright, I'm bored. Someone else can do that. I got his blood on me, I feel nasty," You said, grabbing Niragi's hand and pulling him along with you.

Once you entered a random store, you looked down. There was blood covering your hands, and your swimsuit. You cringed in disgust. "That was pretty fucking badass," Niragi said, walking around the store. You sighed, "I guess." It dawned on you that since you were a militant, you could wear actual clothes. "Wait, so on supply runs what do guys collect?" You asked. Niragi turned to face you. "Anything and everything that could be useful. And of course, we are allowed to bring back personal items if wanted," he answered. You smirked, grabbing some backpacks off of one of the shelves, giving one to Niragi. "These would be easier to carry things around in," you suggested. "Ok, well then you take the pink strawberry one," he said. You rolled your eyes, trading backpacks with him. "Suck up your fragile masculinity you stupid fuck~," you sang before laughing. He shook his head, following you around. It really was like you two never skipped a beat. Sure, your whole lives had gotten derailed, but being back together made most things ok. The longest you two had been without each other had been the two months you stayed with your grandmother. After that first summer without him, you always asked if he could go with you. Even though you had called each other every night, you couldn't go to sleep. It wasn't like he was with you every night, but knowing you'd see him the next day would always comfort you. You didn't know why, it just did. So every summer both of you would have two months of peace at your grandmother's house.

"Alright, that's two bags full for each of us. Let's see if we can fill a third?" He asked. You both put the bags in the car. The person who was guarding the cars thanked you both. She looked down at your hands, and back up at you. You gave her a friendly smile seeing her stare. You sort of forgot about your blood stained hands. She smiled nervously, waving you both away.

"What was her problem?" You scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest as you both walked back. "Blood," he answered, pointing at your hands. "Oh... well, sounds like a her problem," you said nonchalantly. It was quiet. Something you hadn't taken the time to appreciate before. Living in the city, there was always something making noise, it was never quiet. But now, looking at the desolate city of Tokyo, you sighed happily. It reminded you of the quiet up at your grandmother's house when you were little.

"Hello? Earth to (Y/N), Earth to (Y/N)," Niragi teased, waving his hand in front of your face.  You shook your head snapping out of your daydream. "Sorry... spaced out. What else do we need to do?"

On the way back, people were more talkative and cheerful. They had done a lot, running through the empty streets to find things. You were quite excited to return back, as Chishiya had mentioned talking again when you got back.

"(Y/N), piece of advice. Don't go to the parties at the Beach... everyone's to drunk to notice anything, and no one stops anyone from doing anything. So be careful," Kuina said. You two had been talking for a while besides the pool, watching others splash each other with water. You nodded, looking around. "It also seems you've caught the attention of Chishiya. He seems to think you're quite smart. That's near impossible, good job girl," she complimented. You laughed, shaking your head. "This is the first time in months I've been... truly happy, I guess you could say," you said, looking down at blue water in the pool. "What do you mean by that?" She questioned. "Well, back in our world, I thought my best friend was dead, so... I wasn't in the best mental state," you answered. "Ew, sorry, I just made this conversation about me. Ick, I hate it," you shuddered, shaking your hands. "Please tell me something about you Kuina?"

"They seem to get along well. She keeps him in line, she could be very useful," Ann observed after hearing what happened at the supply run. "She's also quite the wildcard, if you ask me. Dangerous, but calculated. Seems like she'd be a methodical killer in a show or something," Last Boss commented. This drew some attention, as he never spoke about others that often. It was often short answers, but it seemed you'd peaked his interest.  "Well, it's no use just talking about their skills. Put them to the test!" Hatter suggested, a bit too cheerfully for everyone in the room. "Haven't they proven themselves already? She's pretty high up for a newcomer, and Niragi has been here for a while, he's a high rank as well," Ann questioned, turning to face Hatter. "They've proven themselves as individuals. But if we have a pair that is on the same level physically and mentally, who seem to find fun in the games, that trust each other..." Hatter started, trailing off. Ann caught on to what he was saying. "It's an advantage for us in the end... in using their connection, it makes them stronger players?" Ann said, suggesting her thoughts. Hatter smiled widely, "Bingo! The easier the games are to clear, the faster we can all leave!" Of course, Ann was a bit uneasy at the idea. You had both proven yourselves to be useful, even in the short time you'd been there. Niragi, while annoying to deal with at times, did have amazing abilities with guns. He was able to complete games without hesitation to hurt others to get his goal, and that's what made him such an asset to the Beach. People feared him. The more you fear a person or punishment, you are more likely to not do what lead to dealing with that person or consequence. You were already building quite the reputation. Although coming into the Beach with Niragi, you would expect people to avoid you. People backed away from you even more now, seeing as you were a militant, and a dangerous one at that. You two were equally as intelligent and dangerous, the only difference being you thought things out before rushing in. He was more impulsive. A do now, think later kind of person. You, however, you thought first, thinking of outcomes, and followed through.  It would be interesting to see how you two worked together.

Wow that took a while to write for no reason at all.

[zodiyack]

And They Were Roommates | Brahms Heelshire HCs

Requested by @colorfulwasps​: Im craving some platonic Brahms Heelshire where they act like roommates but the s/o not really doesnt mind taking care of the gigantic baby man and Brahms sees them as his older sibling. Please and t h a nk u muwahhh

Pairing: Brahms Heelshire + Gender Neutral!Reader (platonic)

Warnings: Swearing, slasher stuff

Note: So I dunno if you wanted Headcannons or not, but I felt like some headcannons, so here we goooo...

Taglist: @matth1w​, @redspaceace​, @darling-i-read-it​

Masterlist | Slashers Masterlist

So basically- you have no idea how the fuck you got where you are.

One minute, you’ve signed up for some nanny job, the next, you’ve living a make-believe life with some dude who made himself a home in the walls...of his home.

Of course, after getting to know Brahms, you felt content with the random events leading to your now current life, which you were also content with, and came to except it

That doesn’t mean you weren’t still stuck on trying to figure out what the hell had to happen in order for you to end up with stinky wall boi

Then again, you weren’t complaining

maybe about his lack bathing but-

With your newfound protectiveness over one another, he vowed never to harm you, and granted you access to the walls

The only catch(es) being that you still follow rules involving other people and that you don’t leave him

The first time the whole “roommate” thing came into play, was when an old friend of yours stopped by.

You had to explain to Brahms that they were only there for a phone call, just letting someone know that they were on their way and got held up due to running out of gas-

which you also were supplying them with

They ended up seeing him and asking you about him

To which you panicked and spat out,

“he’s my roommate.”

They shrugged it off, believing you without a second thought.

So it became your go-to cover.

However

Brahms preferred his more.

Whenever someone came by, he’d call for you using his kid voice,

“Y/n! Y/n!”

You’d have to explain to the person that your little brother lived with you, and when you did, it made him smile.

To be honest, Brahms is fine with either

Though, if you say he’s your little brother, you might get a happy Brahms 

aka

a behaving Brahms

You absolutely adored him

Sure, he had his moments,

but, lets be honest-

we’d all at least a fair amount of us would love to care for giant-man-baby-wall-boi

And he LOVES the attention you give him

he’s an attention whore. I think we’ve established that by now

As he sees you as his older sibling, he can never see himself gaining feelings for you

He can see himself changing up the act and making himself the older brother if you ever give your attention to someone...shall we say, of romantic interest to yourself?

Like I’ve said, he’s an attention whore

Congrats! You signed up for a job as a nanny, and now you have a roommate, little brother, big brother, and a gigantic-man-baby to take care of!

Oh- and if you leave- you’ll just piss him off.

Make sure you use your “big sibling” voice if need be

Wish you luck lmao

Your chances of not needing it are 3/100 by the way

[cakers-2000]

~You stick to what’s yours and I’ll stick to what’s mine~ (Kokichi X Fem!Reader)

!!!!TW: SEXUAL HARASSMENT!!!!!

I’m not too satisfied with the ending for this one but I really struggled trying to find a way to close it up so I hope you all enjoy it anyways I did work kinda hard on it 😓

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Date night with Kokichi normally consisted of strolling through the park under the cover of the moonlight. Honestly you didn’t mind, you loved the peace and serenity the night brought. There were so few people walking around at night you didn’t have to worry about the stares you’d receive from strangers as you walked hand in hand with Kokichi down the dirt pathways. Let’s be honest, the dude’s out here wearing a full ass cape all the time, you were bound to get at least a few confused stares.

But now, with midnight fastly approaching and your date night done and over with you had agreed to head back towards D.I.C.E HQ.

The park had been empty, but the middle of the city was a different story. The downtown area was always littered with drunkards and potheads looking for late night thrills. You had to cross paths with a few of them but most left you alone due to Kokichi’s attire alone and though he was small those who knew of him knew to fear him so you didn’t have all that much to worry about thankfully.

“You think some ice cream would be nice?”

You had been staring rather fearfully at a man a little ways behind the both of you until Kokichi’s voice finally brought you back to reality. Maybe you were just being paranoid but it seemed like he was following you. Kokichi’s head was slightly tilted as he stared at you, one hand was raised and his finger pointed at a small 24 hour convenience store across the street from you.

“It’s late, why don’t we just go home?”

His smile turned into a pout as you quickly shut down his request. His hand quickly squeezed your own as his other hand dropped down.

“Is something wrong?”

He was quick to catch on to your actions. You hadn’t even noticed your quick glances over your shoulder or the way your hand squeezed his a little tighter every second. But of course he had. Kokichi was many things, but he wasn’t an idiot.

“It’s nothing, really. I’m just tired.”

He was skeptical, eyes narrowed in your direction. You knew instantly that he could see right through you. There was a quick glance of his eyes and his eyebrows furrowed in displeasure. You turned to look behind you, to see what Kokichi was grimacing at only to find the same man from before walking towards you at a brisk pace. He slowed his pace when he got to your side, hands shoved in his pockets while his walk was slouched.

He stopped a little ways ahead of you and you could feel Kokichi’s grip on your hand tighten a little more. His eyes ran up and down your body and you shifted nervously in your spot. A shiver ran down your spine just from the pure intensity his eyes shone as he eyed you down.

And then he let out a long whistle, followed shortly by a sly smirk and disgusting remark of, “Hey sweetie nice ass. I’d love to take you home and tap that.”

There was a swirl of emotions running through you. You were disgusted, you were kinda scared, you were extremely uncomfortable. Who the hell does he think he is?

There was an audible growl coming from beside you. You glanced to the left and found Kokichi, eyes glaring daggers into the man while he chewed on the inside of his mouth, seeming to be biting his tongue.

“How dare you talk to her like that.”

The other man seemed unfazed by the threatening tone of his voice. He only let out a snicker in response and slightly knelt himself down to Kokichi’s height so they could be eye level to each other.

“What’s the matter little man? Afraid I’m gonna steal your wittle girlfriend away?”

God was he pushing it. Not only was he an absolutely disgusting waste of a human being, he really had the nerve to treat Kokichi, the Supreme Leader of D.I.C.E like a small feeble child.

The man was off balance due to leaning down and all it took was a quick shove from Kokichi and he was on the ground. He attempted to get up but Kokichi was quick to shove his foot on the other man's chest, keeping him in place.

“You really think you can outshine me in any way?” He leaned himself on his knee, rubbing his heel deeper into the man's chest. “Are you stupid?”

There was a teasing tone in Kokichi’s voice but you knew he was 100% serious. The man grabbed his ankle in an attempt to make him stop and Kokichi instead grabbed for his shirt collar, pulling him up off of the cement ground. “Why don’t you stick to what’s yours and I’ll stick to what’s mine, k?”

The man was quick to nod and agree and with a satisfied ‘hum’ Kokichi dropped him and practically skipped to your side, his hand grabbing for yours. “Let’s goooo~”

He lead you along the sidewalk, continuing your trek towards the D.I.C.E HQ while swinging your hands together joyfully. His free hand grabbed for his cellphone and he slightly smiled in your direction as he placed it on his ear.

“He’ll get what’s coming to him, I guarantee it~”

And he did.

You awoke the next morning, Kokichi’s arms wrapped lazily around you while your own arms wrapped tightly around his waist, clinging to him for dear life. You were still exhausted, not willing to leave the bed just yet. As carefully as possible you reached over him to grab your phone from the nightstand beside him and found to your surprise the new story sweeping your small local community.

The body of a tavern owner was found in a dirty, dusty alleyway. He was alive, but just barely.

A long sigh escaped your lips as your phone dropped onto the soft sheets. You already knew what had happened. Your eyes fell to the boy beside you. He looked so calm, so peaceful while he slept. You pushed a strand of hair out of his face and shook your head, cupping his cheek in your hand. “Fucking hell Kokichi, you couldn’t just let it go.”

Kokichi had sent a message, and the message was clear as day.

“You stick to what’s yours and I’ll stick to what’s mine~”